[ Time and choice had destroyed what the two of them shared in their youth.
Jiang Cheng might never have been able to call Wei Wuxian his brother with real words, but they’d known what they were. Yanli had been the thing to bind them together when they couldn’t manage it themselves, and he feels the grief of her loss as sourly now as he did when she had been in his arms. There is so much he could blame Wei Wuxian for (and he does, he does, as bitter as it makes him), but he has his own faults too.
Had he not lost his core, Wei Wuxian would not have cultivated as he had. If he had been stronger, bolder, better, overcame it all and been able to attempt the impossible as the Jiang were meant to, maybe they would’ve survived. To know that it’s his martial brother’s core inside him grieves him more than he can say, because it means they’re bonded in a way more than blood.
If only he could admit why he had been so weak. If only he could admit that it was love that failed him, not his sadness, not his parents. Love for his brother and sister.
Pushing through the rooms, Jiang Cheng doesn’t reply. Instead, he leads them out to the private dock, the small stretch of wood that opens into the lotus pond reserved only for the sect leader. Here, he can lose some of that weight, that tension, and when he breathes out he’s not Jiang Wanyin, master of his Sect. He’s only Jiang Cheng, desperately sad and wishing he had the right words to say.
Tears prickle on his face, and he has to rub his sleeve quickly to hide them. ]
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Jiang Cheng might never have been able to call Wei Wuxian his brother with real words, but they’d known what they were. Yanli had been the thing to bind them together when they couldn’t manage it themselves, and he feels the grief of her loss as sourly now as he did when she had been in his arms. There is so much he could blame Wei Wuxian for (and he does, he does, as bitter as it makes him), but he has his own faults too.
Had he not lost his core, Wei Wuxian would not have cultivated as he had. If he had been stronger, bolder, better, overcame it all and been able to attempt the impossible as the Jiang were meant to, maybe they would’ve survived. To know that it’s his martial brother’s core inside him grieves him more than he can say, because it means they’re bonded in a way more than blood.
If only he could admit why he had been so weak. If only he could admit that it was love that failed him, not his sadness, not his parents. Love for his brother and sister.
Pushing through the rooms, Jiang Cheng doesn’t reply. Instead, he leads them out to the private dock, the small stretch of wood that opens into the lotus pond reserved only for the sect leader. Here, he can lose some of that weight, that tension, and when he breathes out he’s not Jiang Wanyin, master of his Sect. He’s only Jiang Cheng, desperately sad and wishing he had the right words to say.
Tears prickle on his face, and he has to rub his sleeve quickly to hide them. ]