Lifting a hand to brush tears from his face is almost impossible, Jiang Cheng trying to shove the emotions away even as he finds himself almost painfully weak in the process. He doesn't want to fall apart in front of the subject of his affections but he finds himself completely unable to swallow it back, unable to do anything but give into the thorns and flowers that have been such a danger for so long.

The children must be aware that there's little of him left, that he doesn't have the strength to fight for much longer, but what else can he do? He can't keep fighting and he doesn't have the courage to stand up and say what he feels - not for someone like Lan Xichen, who is beyond anything he could ever dare to hope for.

It shouldn't surprise him that a simple touch to his shoulder has him choking, but there's nothing he can do about it other than try and breathe through the pain and the hurt, his hands shaking. There's no cure other than saying his emotions aloud, surely, and the idea of doing that...

Grief is the only thing he can picture, rejection tearing his heart to pieces.

"I can't - breathe -" He shakes his head. "Please..."