prompts / continuations.

[fennu]

Comments

[lanclan]

[ He has to close his open mouth as he hums his assent, words briefly failing him as his pale cheeks gain colour. After sipping his tea, Xichen hazards, ]

With the rocky path there all along, I wonder if I did not notice and instead flooded the tranquil-looking meadows on my other side, helping them flourish when they should have become a desert.

[ A-Yao certainly drank down every ounce of faith like a starving landscape. ]

[fennu]

[ That is certainly a metaphor and a half, and Jiang Cheng has to take a moment for himself, to try and find a suitable reply - one that isn't damning and is equally poetic. It's not easy. ]

Someone can't be blamed for looking for tranquil meadows after years of drought, Xichen.

[lanclan]

... Would you like some liquor with your meal? It can be found.

[ It seems appropriate. ]

[fennu]

Liquor is not permitted within Cloud Recesses.

[ He is teasing, just a little, but he doubts his brother is keeping to that rule. ]

It is not necessary.

[lanclan]

And yet, it finds its way here. Repeatedly. [ Wry as he sounds, his smile quirks back into place (one jar confiscated from the students is nothing compared to the absolute stash he knows Wangji has in the Jingshi, stolidly pretending it doesn't exist). ] Not necessary is not the same as a pleasant addition.

[fennu]

The tea is fine. [ Even if it might be nice to gear himself up for the inevitability of conversation. ] Unless you intend to join me.

[lanclan]

That wouldn't be a good idea.

[ He doesn't want to turn into the same drunk Xichen who ran around on the roof calling an equally drunk and sleepy Wangji didi when Qiren found them, that one time. ]

Wine makes me very ... animated.

[fennu]

And it makes me sour. Or silly.

[ It depends on his mood when he partakes, mostly. ]

Do you feel like you need it? Or are you just trying to be polite again?

[lanclan]

If you want it, there is some. It is not mine, I don't drink; it was confiscated.

[ He arches a brow, remembering when Wangji confessed about finding Wei Wuxian and his cohorts wasted. ]

[fennu]

I don't want it, not right now. Not unless you want to talk about... Those things.

[ Jin Guangyao.

Anyway, don't talk about his sordid past! ]

[lanclan]

I asked because I respect your comfort and what you like, I would have you feel at home here. That's all.

[ As for the other things ... ]

I already said Wanyin can ask whatever he wants.

[fennu]

Then I will respectfully decline, this time. I feel comfortable enough.

[ Pushing his bowls aside, the food forgotten for now, he sits back and watches Xichen. ]

Do you want to talk about it?

[lanclan]

[ Xichen pours the last of the tea, now mostly cold, and rings a small bell for more. The students across the way will hear and attend them eventually. ]

I will talk about anything with you, if it doesn't choke me first.

[fennu]

Alright then.

[ Maybe this is what Xichen needs. A nudge. ]

Why seclude yourself?

[lanclan]

Because he made me hate myself and broke my heart.

[ It is that simple; he says it calmly, eyes lowered. There are no dramatics, it's rote history by now. ]

And then, he just broke me.

[fennu]

And so you're going to let him keep doing it?

[ Jiang Cheng can empathise, in away. He felt disgustingly betrayed by Wei Wuxian back then, and even with him coming back, learning all that he had about his golden core. Undoing that hurt, the rage, the grief, is a process he is still not finished. ]

You'll let him punish you more from the grave.

[lanclan]

I was half-dead all along, Wanyin. Being used like such a puppet, I was never ...

[ Alive? Human? Himself? So much of his confidence has been gutted. ]

I am not saying any of it is rational.

[fennu]

You are allowed to feel this way, Xichen. It just shouldn't ruin your life.

[ As far as he's concerned, Jin Guangyao doesn't deserve that kind of respect, but he knows better than to say that out loud. ]

Do you want to recover?

[lanclan]

Summering in Yunmeng would be recovery enough, with you.

[ He knows, objectionably, that would be good for him. Irrationally, he wants to vomit at the very idea of being around people; both of the Twin Jades of Gusu have now been badly cracked in the past, only Wangji survived his grief to find happiness while Xichen is alone as he prefers most days. ]

[fennu]

It would be a start. We both know one summer will not be enough.

[ It makes him note the fact that he might need to keep a-Ling away, at least for a while. The gold robes would do no good. ]

[lanclan]

I cannot spend all my time in Yunmeng, as you cannot in Gusu. Quite apart from our duties, you will have a wife who requires your attention.

[ In case Jiang Cheng forgot that part he shouldn't be amused by that. ]

[fennu]

[ His nose wrinkles immediately. ]

I might have a wife. The prospect of that is bleak indeed, Xichen.

[lanclan]

When I was in town some days ago, [ on a good mental health day of his own, which are always like dreams of his former self, ] I overheard a group of women outside talking about the dashing Jiang-zongzhu. I find it hard to believe it will be all that hard to find a woman who does not adore you.

[fennu]

Finding a suitable woman is different from any woman.

[ It would be nice if he could choose for love, too. Having seen his mother and father, well... ]

I am not optimistic, but if I must select an heir from the disciples then I will.

[lanclan]

[ The sheer self-control it takes not to raise his sleeve to hide a wider smile and remain serene, hands on his lap ... ]

Should I grant you permission to take your pick of Cloud Recesses?